TEENAGER’S PERIL by Trixie Bloom
(composed when 15 years old, grammar left intact!)

How I hate being a teenager
The do’s and the don’t
The wills and the won’t
The certain days when you are not allowed out
And all that screaming and thumping about
And when the neighbours come to complain
‘Oh it’s her time of the month,’ (you’re not to blame)

They think you’re still in nappies and have to be told
Of when you were young
How you wish to be old

Endless days spent in front of the mirror
To see if your bust had grown any bigger

But now you are fifteen you begin to see
How wrong all those days in eating had been

And, boy, when you get on the scales
You’re in for a shock
You weigh like an oversized cow ready to drop

You’re face begins to swell out like a balloon
And look like a crater on the moon

And then comes the fashions
The punks and the mods, skinheads and grobs
And deciding to dye your hair
Give it a short sharp shock
Which is more than your mother’s going to do
When she sees that lot!

Along come the boyfriends and the words that you hate
‘bring him home for tea’
and ‘don’t be back late’

The long hours spent in the kitchen with mother
who’s telling you of contraception one way or another

All your money now goes on clothes
You have to keep up with the fashion you know
And you have to put your makeup on just right
So’s not to look like a tart standing on the corner at night

For all of you out there Waiting to be old
Don’t bother waiting… crestor cost.
Just do as you’re told