Trixie starts with a big glass and tequila bottle. She pours, and drinks all of it.

– perfectly legal. (smiles)

– Hello! and welcome to my Winterval wonderland edition of Trixie’s tiny Taverna – The New Year special.
Well, let’s be happy that’s all over, and thank goodness I’m still with you.

The mood today, is ‘sexable’.

Last night I was partying down on a slice of life, and half a Quaalude.

I’ve made a gay altar, (points to altar)
and sacrificed one of my Vivian Westward necklace in the hope that my book will go to number 1 this year.
I also made some new years resolutions,

I’ll be putting away this rather tired old cock… (shows Foghorn leghorn and puts to one side)
…and turning my attention, this year, to the pussy. (lifts up the pussy, and kisses it)

I’m changing from a eyeliner pencil, to a liquid. (holds up both)

I only intend to pass wind when I’m on my own. (farting sounds)

I’m definitely going to lose rape, definitely going to lose weight from my fat wrists.

And I’m going to start judging people by my own, ludicrously high standards.

So this year – Love!:
I’ll be starting with myself. I’ll be bringing in the new year with a through pampering, worshipping myself for 4 or 5 days
After that I’ll be throwing my handbag into the arena again.

The Word of the year, (holds up word) apparently, is ‘Skint.’

And now, my advice for this year. Remember crying does not shed many calories. Priceless, i think you’ll agree.

This year’s Books. – The best seller this year will be Facebook Blues, (holds up book) my hilarious romantic comedy.

Now I’m also excited to say its now available as a special edition hardback. You can only get this for a limited time of 12 years. So hurry.

This year’s lucky colour is beige. Oh dear.

So, I hope you have enjoyed this episode. In my next tiny taverna, I’ll be enjoying some ‘dog love’. Looking forward to that.
Don’t forget, you can subscribe to my channel on YouTube, and Twitter me, I love that.
Trixiebloom.com and Facebook.
-take care. Remember we must love and laugh; and care for each other.

this programme was bought to you by Me.

I’m ending with a dance of positivity. giving my fans real treat. The music courtesy of DJ Catflap.
(dancing)

trixiebloom@hotmail.com, Twitter as trixie_bloom, Instagram and Facebook as trixiebloom.author.
Find out the latest, and subscribe to my newsletter at my website, trixiebloom.com

(music plays out)